23 Oct 2013
8 Oct 2013
"Do you know Fred?" "Why not connect with Jim?" "You may know Bill..." These are just a few of the frequent, matchmaking-type pleas I get from Linked In. Stop trying to set me up with everyone, for Pete's sake!
2. It's creepy.
"Do you know who viewed your profile?" Well, that's sort of interesting - but hang on, it means that anyone I visit knows I've been taking a look at their page. Which means, dear Linked In, that I now actively avoid visiting other people's profiles.
3. It's clingy.
Like a movie psychopath, Linked In doesn't want you to leave. Try using the Back button to go back to the website you were on before you came there, and you'll see what I mean. Let go, Linked In!
4. It's trashy.
Every time I visit Linked In, it's promoting some piece of tabloid fluff - 10 ways to tell if your boss is an idiot, 6 things you should never throw at work, what 90% of people don't know about wombats - which I am idiotically drawn to, but wish I hadn't botherered.
5. It's pesky.
Linked In likes nothing better than finding new reasons to email me. First it was updates ('Jim's got a new job!'), then it was emails suggesting that some improbable company, most likely in Ratville, Ohio was looking for someone like me. Leave off already!
Posted by P K Munroe at 23:01
5 Jul 2013
Time for anti-social media.
I see Twatter, where we upload our least-favourite celebrities and give them a Twatting. And there's a Hate All button to save time.
I want to get an email at 11.30pm from Drinked-In saying "Fred Smith hates you. Why not hate him back?" With some new suggestions: People who hate Fred Smith also hate...
Meanwhile on ArseBook we'll be telling each other where to shove it. And on Hate-mail too.
And everywhere, next to the Like button will be an Arse button to show our displeasure:
And t-shirts in the same vein:
Join me in the new world of Web 3.0 - where we tell it like it is!
Posted by P K Munroe at 23:51
9 May 2013
I am writing to propose a new hair-care concept that could be very profitable for you...
Letter to Philips Electronics, 2006. See The Pub Letters
REPLY FROM: Philips Intellectual Property & Standards
Dear Mr Munroe,
Thank you for your letter regarding your idea for a hairdryer styled in the image of Alex Ferguson. We regret..
Posted by P K Munroe at 20:47
14 Apr 2013
5 Apr 2013
19 Mar 2013
Some luckless chap with a briefcase has been killed and thrown in the harbour. His body floats in the water, attracting hundreds of fish, including what look to be pirhanas.
The opening sequence of a thriller? No - an advert for Emirates Airlines.
Headline they missed: "Swim with the fishes in Dubai."
Posted by P K Munroe at 22:05