30 Jan 2014

A lot of cock is talked about rhino horn

It’s odd that news stories about the threatened extinction of the rhino focus on the poaching of rhinos and smuggling of rhino horn, with pictures of dead rhinos and pieces of horn captured while being smuggled through airport customs.  It’s all about supply.

Meanwhile there is a strange silence in the media about the consumers of rhino horn – men living in China, Indonesia, and elsewhere in the Far East. Presumably the silence is because these countries have strong and growing economies, so we’re not allowed to laugh at their medieval delusions.

And now, we hear, criminal gangs are involved in poaching and smuggling.  There’s a surprise.  Any day now there will be complaints from end-users that the powdered horn is being ‘cut’ with aspirin or chalk;  and a dawn swoop on a rhino ‘farm’ in the suburbs of Beijing.

Meanwhile the answer to saving the rhino is staring us in the face.  Powdered Viagra tablets, dyed the same colour as rhino horn, would make a perfect substitute.  And better yet, they would actually do the trick.  The World Wildlife Fund could set up a factory, label the packets ‘genuine rhino horn (substitute), guaranteed to work’ and flood the Far East market with the stuff.  Rhiagra, anyone?


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